Have you ever felt so lonely that you wanted to give up on life? I hope not, but you can probably imagine how I felt as a kid being raised by my uncle who acted like I didn’t exist. It all started when my parents decided to leave the country. They wanted to start a new life, but unfortunately, I wasn’t part of their plan.
They decided I should live with my uncle. But when they brought me to his home, he didn’t want me. My parents and he started screaming at each other. And in the end, my dad had to give him a bunch of money in exchange for letting me live with him.
Back then, I was only 8 years old and I haven’t seen my parents ever since. All I know is that their flight was going somewhere to Europe.
You can probably imagine that my parents had never loved very much. But they were still hundreds of times better than my uncle. He was a cold and emotionless man. He barely even acknowledged my existence. The only time he talked to me was when he gave me orders like to clean the bathroom or wash his clothes.
I was so desperate for love or some kind of connection that my stuffed animal Theo became my best friend. I talked to him for hours because I had no one else who loved or cared about me.
My uncle also never signed me up for school. So I ended up spending a whole year not leaving my uncles apartment and only eating the rests of his meals.
At one point I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed someone to talk to and walked outside. I was only 9 and hadn’t felt the sunlight on my skin in more than 12 months. I felt overwhelmed and scared by all the noises and sounds.
At one point a poIiceman approached me and asked if I needed help.
I responded “I’m ok”, but he didn’t believe me. Probably because I hadn’t washed my hair or clothes in weeks. I must have looked like I’d been homeless for years.
He asked me where my parents were and that’s when things got really messy. The authorities found out I was living with my uncle and that he hadn’t taken appropriate care of me.
That’s why the poIicemen that had found me, brought me into an orphanage. Before he left, he promised me that soon someone would come and adopt me and then I would have real parents who would love and take care of me.
But I waited for 2 months and no one came to adopt me. Meanwhile, the other kids inside the orphanage called me the “dirty” or the “weird” girl. So again, I ended up feeling lonely, spending most of my time with my teddybear Theo.
But then after 3 months, the same poIicemen that had saved me from my uncles home, came back into the orphanage to look for me. He wanted to know if I had found a new family. And he wasn’t alone, he had brought his wife with him. It felt so good to see him again, even though I was too shy to talk to him. But I could feel that he cared about me.
When he said, “My wife and I have thought about this for a long time and we wanted to ask you if you would like to become our daughter and be a part of our family.”
I wanted to scream yes! Yes! But after years of negIect, I was too shy and couldn’t bring out a word.
In the end, he told me to think about it and that he would come back the next week to ask me again. But while he and his wife were on their way out. I quickly drew a painting and ran after them.
When I had stopped them, I showed them my drawing. It was me holding both their hands and I had written mom and dad over them. It was the only way I could express myself. I still remember how they both took me into their arms. It felt so warm and so good to be touched by another human being. It felt like years of pain were being healed inside my body.
Afterward, my new parents went back into the orphanage to sign the papers to adopt me and by the next day, I was living with them in their home. They didn’t have a bed for me, so I had to sleep right between them. But of course, I didn't mind because for the first time I could remember I didn't feel lonely or abandoned. My adoptive parents give me endless amounts of love. And there is nothing more important for a kid than to be loved.
I just wanted to say thank you to my dad and my mom, you have literally saved me and therefore you will always be my heroes. Thank you so much.
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