I've been absorbed in a certain level of self-exploration over the past few days trying to get a handle on where I am in my treatment and recovery and how I feel about the journey in general. That isn't what I set out to do. It just happened, helped along by Tom Hanks' acceptance speech at the Golden Globe Awards and my musings on control, influence — And, yes! — even annoyance. It has to do with something I've shared here and with my treatment team every time there is a change in medications or protocol that requires my compliance. Every time they ask me if that change is acceptable. My response has been consistent: 'I'm just a passenger on this train!' indicating I'm going wherever they're taking me!
It sounds simple enough and to at least some degree, it's true. Suggesting what would appear to be a level of blind compliance. But, simply stating that you're a passenger on the recovery train doesn't exclude you from being an informed passenger! It doesn't absolve you from the important role you play in ensuring your treatment or recovery is a success.
As Hanks would suggest, what it does do is demand that you show up on time. That you are prepared. And, that you bring your best self and a willingness to participate. It requires that you commit to control whatever you can through your active compliance. That you read and research, understand and accept, and actively participate in your recovery. It suggests it's OK to question: even thoughtfully question, what you've been told.
In the end, you are headed wherever the recovery train is going, recognizing there are times no one can be certain they know where that really might be. What that means is knowing that you've picked the right people, chosen the right place and made the commitment remain in your seat until you arrive at wellness and a cure.
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