Subscribe to support the podcast: For this episode of our social anxiety podcast, we're gonna talk about three key things you need to understand if you wanna have strong communications with people in person. And here are those first three takeaways for this episode. Number one is your posture, second is your smile, and third is your gaze. I'll say it again, first is your posture, second is your smile, and third is your gaze. Now, you could turn this podcast off right now and go and run with those three bits I just explained to you, but you have to make sure you do them properly.
Let's talk about the first one, your posture. Think about when you're watching movies, TV, whatever entertainment venue you choose to engage with, how do people look when they're defeated, when they're crushed, when they're feeling low, when they're feeling down or defeated? They're slumped over, they're hunched over, they don't look strong. And it's funny because we can as quickly associate on an unconscious level someone's strength based on their posture. How do you have a better posture? Look, I know a lot of people walk around slumped over, they sit at their computer desk with the backs arched. That is an absolute no go.
You need to have your chest out, your chin up, and pinch your shoulder blades together. Of course, you don't wanna walk around like you're a 300 pound all-muscle bodybuilder because that is going to immediately broadcast to people that you are not confident. You need to do it in a way that is natural.
Pretend you're trying to grab something between your two shoulder blades, like there's something that's caught in between your spinal column that you're trying to just grab ahold of, like you were trying to grab it with your two fingers. Pinch your shoulder blades back together and if you do that one thing, you'll notice the rest of your body falls in motion, the rest of your body follows. A
The second thing I wanna talk about is your gaze. Look at people in the eyes when you talk to them, but don't stare at them because that's gonna broadcast that you're a creep and being a creep is not an effective way to communicate. You're going to wanna look at them softly, gently, warmly and right in the eyes as they're talking to you with your back straight, with your chin up, and with your chest out, but again, not like you're a macho man, Superman, bodybuilder man.
That isn't effective. Let's do a recap here. First, you're going to have a strong, confident posture. Second, you're going to have a soft, warm gaze. You're gonna look them right in the eyes intently, but not too strong to where you're gonna scare them away.
Think about how when you are getting into the mix of a really juicy story and you're getting to a really interesting part or maybe you need to lower your voice just aa little bit and you squint your eyes a little bit, have a slight squint in your eyes when you talk to people, and that is going to broadcast that you're really engaged. And you know what, folks? The best thing for you to do if you're unsure about this is to just be genuine about it. Tell yourself, I'm gonna stand strong with a proud posture. Tell yourself, you know what, I'm actually really interested in what this person is telling me. And the third thing is your smile.
You're not gonna walk around with a big cheese on because you'll look ridiculous. You're gonna wanna have a slow, gently crowning smile. Think of your smile like a sunset or a sunrise coming over the horizon. It's slowly rising up and spreading warmth around to everybody in the room, a slow, soft rising smile and a strong, confident posture and a gentle, interested, intense, but not creepy, gaze.
Those are the three things I want you to work on between now and the next episode we put out, your posture, your gaze, and your smile. If you work on those three things, whether you're dressed in rags or you're dressed in a $5,000 suit, it's not going to matter because you are going to broadcast on an unconscious level your communicative power by sticking to those three key points.
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